Toilet Seat Confessions: Weddings

As cheesy as it may sound, I’m a sucker for a good wedding. I have yet to participate as a groomsman, but I feel as though I’d be “Clashy” as fuck. For those who don’t know, clashy is a word I just made up by smashing “Classy” and “Trashy” together like the goddamn poet that I am. I’ll take a page out of the book of Tom Haverford and say that I love wearing dope suits (classy.) But I also like to bump & grind up on my girlfriend at the reception (trashy.) And that to me is what sets weddings apart from other public events. Everyone is (usually) there to get as drunk as humanly possible, and celebrate like the world is ending tomorrow. Also…what’s not to love about free booze, free food, and watching your drunk uncle order rum and cokes all night, hold the coke. That question was rhetorical, weddings are amazing.