Toilet Seat Confessions: The Pittsburgh Pirates break my heart.

It’s been 38 trying, frustrating, agonizing years since the Pittsburgh Pirates have won a World Series Championship. Simple-ass math shows us…that’s nearly 4 decades. Since I was born in 1988, they’ve had 22 losing seasons (not including this year.) They’ve gone through multiple “franchise players” including the likes of Jason Kendall (National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum Nominee 2016), Nate McLouth (injured?), and Jason Bay (retired.) God then blessed Pittsburgh with a generational talent in Andrew McCutchen whose 2013 team was the first Pirates team to make a playoff appearance since 1992. As we know, they haven’t gone much further in the years following. The Pirates’ front office is run by men who are (to put it lightly) unqualified for the positions they hold. It’s 2017, I’m 29 years old, and I’ve come to the realization that I may never see the Pirates win the World Series. That fact is as cold and hard as my ex’s heart, and at the same time it breaks my own. Hashtag Poetry.