Things I Do When I Should Be Writing.
When I started this venture/experiment/blog-thingy, I wanted to push myself to write quality pieces every single day. Obviously that’s a very difficult thing to accomplish. And you wouldn’t know it by reading most of my stuff, but I hate writing about myself. It feels forced and a lot of times it doesn’t seem genuine. But in light of my recent writer’s slump I thought I’d try embracing the fact that I have nothing better to write about at the moment, and dive right in. Things I do when I should be writing…aka what not to do as a writer. Case and point, this piece took me nearly 3 days to write because I was doing a lot of these things.
Drink alcohol — I mean most good writers would take the opportunity to enjoy alcoholic beverages while they write. Not this guy. I don’t know how productive I’d actually be if I sat down to write something while carrying a healthy buzz. The only thing I’m well practiced in after being buzzed is…drinking more alcohol.
Adjust my balls — Who am I kidding? I do this all the time. I’m almost positive that I’ve done this while writing in fact. TMI.
Eat food — Ladies and gentlemen, there is a difference between being bored and being hungry. I know that. But I also don’t limit myself like some kind of buffoon. Sometimes it really is just apathy on my part. I don’t care to write anything, so I walk towards the fridge (food typically lives there.) I’m a grown adult, and I still go back to the fridge multiple times even when I know it’s empty. Other times there’s a perfect storm where I do have the urge to write, but my urge to eat overpowers everything else. Food is dangerous.
Scroll through Netflix aimlessly — This one hurts. It’s the ultimate time-waster. While I’m scrolling I typically zone out and start thinking about something else anyway. I’m retaining nothing. It’s not like I’m even looking for something to watch. Much like walking back and forth to the fridge hoping that some food fairy re-stocked my deli meat, scrolling is just a distraction. Don’t let Netflix suck you in!
Look at Facebook. Then exit out of Facebook. Then instantly reopen Facebook. —I hate myself for this, but I do it regularly. I catch myself doing this and it’s pointless. The worst is when I’m on my computer looking at Facebook, then I exit out and immediately open it back up on my phone. Technology can be a friend, but it can also be a foe.
Surf eBay for 8 hours — This is not only a terrible waste of time, but a potential waste of money. It’s also really fun…and that’s why I do it. But if I’m ever trying to get some substantial writing done I stay far, far away from eBay.
Take unnecessary naps — I’m all for a good power nap. Power naps can be super beneficial. Although sometimes I slip into a sad state where I don’t really want to do anything let alone write. So I’ll just go to sleep instead of being a person and living life. Those are the opposite of productive. Stay away from sad naps.
I’d say 7 examples is enough. I can honestly say I did everyone of those things while trying to write this piece. Coffee helps. (Things I’ve done while trying to write this last paragraph include downloading music, watching cute dog videos, and more social media nonsense.) Happy writing!
