Return of the Mack.
Hey girl, heeeyyyyy! I told you I’d be back. You didn’t really think I’d make one blog post appearance and be gone forever, did you? Well just like a 90’s R&B track, I clap back baby. Mark Morrison would be so proud. So let’s jump right in!
You guuuuys! We’re in the middle of a pandemic! Honestly I thought this would be the final straw for Zach. I had him right where I wanted him. Vulnerable. Depressed. Lethargic. I don’t know where I went wrong. I thought Murder Hornets would be the TKO. Nah, Brah. Not only is Zach less sad now, but he seems to be thriving. And not in the basic sense of *yass ka-weeen tHiRTy & THriVINg* but he’s actually being productive. I guess mass panic, death, and a crumbling economy really bring out the camaraderie in humanity. That doesn’t mean I’m completely out of his life. Like I said last time, Zach and I are besties. :)
TUESDAY:
Tuesday can be hit or miss. Since quarantine started, Zach has been in higher spirits simply because there is nothing anyone can really do except wait this out. If you couldn’t tell by now, I hate when he’s happy. Because if Zach is happy then what’s the point? You know? What is my purpose? Tuesday is usually when he’s at his most vulnerable, because Monday he expends all of his energy trying to be productive. Whether that’s through “projects” such as re-arranging his DVD collection (who still watches DVD’s? LMAO) or tweeting some bullshit that’ll get 4 likes and one reply from @userontwitter45868492. It’s kind of sad how hard he tries to be funny. So by Tuesday he has no energy or creativity left, and I have to take advantage of any weakness I can find.
This past week was amazing, because the weather was straight-up garbage. Clouds, rain, and he immediately started listening to the soundtrack from Spring Awakening; The perfect storm.
I like to dig at his insecurities when he gets like this. It may sound cheap or lazy, but hey it usually does the trick. “You’re so bad at sports, that you can’t even win your fantasy football league.” Poke. “Your beard looks like Rupert Grint’s grundle.” Jab. It’s the little things that get to him. But just when I feel like I can push him over the edge, the fiancé comes back into the picture.
I can’t compete with love. Ew. I can’t believe I just said that. Honestly it’s non-stop with her. It’s always “wedding” this, or “honeymoon” that. She’s my rival, and I’ll fight her to the bitter end.
Ugh, don’t even get me started on his therapist. That’s another story for another time. Why do all of these people insist on pushing me away? It’s not fair. The only thing I want is to have Zach to myself 24/7, 365 (or until he chokes on a capicola deli sandwich) is that too much to ask for?
I’m curious to see what happens after this pandemic is over. The fiancé will be back to work full time, and that means Zach will be alone. Just he and I. Or is it possible that he’s actually getting better?
…
No no no, come on Mack don’t be an idiot. Snap out of it, that’s crazy talk.
As always, it’s been great getting to catch up with the 3 or 4 of you that read Zach’s blog. I know he thinks he’s like the next Stephen King or something, but my god some of his stuff is just utter nonsense. Absolute trash. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll chat soon.
Until then,
Stay Mopey!
-M
