I’m a Writer, I Swear.
Let’s be honest. I’m not the first skinny white dude with a bachelor’s degree to start blogging, and I certainly won’t be the last. I’m into sports. Just like writing, sports have always been a passion of mine. Unfortunately, I’ve had the build of a 13 year old girl for most of my life. So the dream of becoming a professional athlete fizzled out pretty quickly.
The only other subject that was somewhat familiar to me in high school was Theatre. One problem. I had zero confidence. So I went to college. I studied acting for 4 years, and hey, I learned to be good at it. But growing up in a small town, then moving to a slightly larger small town for school was starting to take its toll. I wanted out.
Side Note: If you didn’t go to college, just know that advisors are terrible. At best they help you choose your classes. At worst you never see them, and they fuck up your credits. But who am I to blame advisors? Half of the time it’s a professor who has hundreds of intro kids they have to worry about on a daily basis. Heaven forbid it’s the chair of your department…good luck. In most cases, these people have much more important things to do than help you pick between Bio and whatever crazy elective you had your heart set on. I digress.
I wanted out of Slippery Rock, PA. But as fate would have it, I was short the few credits I needed to graduate on time. Enter one of the coolest, most influential professors I’ve ever had, Dr. David Skeele. Don’t ask me why, but this guy saw something in me. Enough that he encouraged me to drop the acting track and jump over to the world of playwriting. Fun fact…The Theatre-Playwriting degree doesn’t even exist anymore at Slippery Rock University. In the end though, it worked out for me. I had a few of my plays produced and staged. I was a college graduate ready to take on the world, and I had confidence. So, what now?
I stopped writing. And at the peak of my scholarly career, when I should have been bursting at the seams with ideas…I just stopped. “Just because you have a degree in it, doesn’t mean you’re a writer.” I would say that to myself on a daily basis. But I’m a writer, I swear. I’d always hear people say “You can write anywhere.” The country, the city, your mom’s basement, anywhere. Slippery Rock wasn’t cutting it. So I did what any college graduate would do. I moved into a house with my best friends in Pittsburgh, PA.
“Writing? What’s writing?” If there was a girl, or a beer around (preferably both) I would’ve easily chosen those things over writing. Needless to say, I wasn’t very productive in Pittsburgh. So, what now?
How about leaving friends, family, and everything in between to move to the artistic center of the universe: New York City. Well, I can count on 1 finger the amount of plays I’ve written since I moved here about 6 years ago. Yep. One. Visiting home almost became a chore those first few years.
Parents: What are you doing up there?
Me: I live there.
Parents: Yeah but what are you doing?
Me: *Crickets*
Parents: ???
Me: Killing my liver slowly at $9/pint.
Imagine you’re about to go on a first date with the girl/guy you’ve been crushing on forever. You’re beyond excited, your friends are so pumped for you. You’ve been waiting for this day to come. Then nothing happens. You come back to tell your friends “Yeah, we just talked…I don’t know, we talked.” That’s not juicy! Nobody wants to hear about that. That’s what it felt like coming home from New York City having accomplished nothing. I was afraid people could see right through me. My biggest fear was having to answer the question “What’s the last thing you’ve written?”
Six years, seven years. I’ve honestly lost track of how long I’ve been in New York. I’m also fucking terrible at math. One of the most fulfilling experiences in my time here has been a sketch comedy project that you’ve most likely never heard of until now…The Motel Staff. It definitely deserves it’s own column, but for now let’s just say it’s a big reason I’m still writing. All good things must come to an end, and end it did. So, what now?
This. Honestly, this thing is now. Some days I’ll write about buffalo chicken wings. Other days I’ll write about how pissed off I am that Pittsburgh Pirates management is breaking the collective heart of an entire city. At some point I’ll share some bomb-ass hangover cures. Some days I’ll probably just vent, or write about a delicious new beer. I’m excited to be writing something that isn’t a snarky tweet, although I do have plenty of those here: @zacharynading
More importantly, I’m excited to be writing. Now I can finally answer the most daunting of all questions, “What’s the last thing you’ve written?”
…Here it is.
